Thought for today - experience something

Life passes all too quickly - for me it seems it flies as I get older. Already the year is two months old. When we find ourself questioning where the time has gone, it often means we let it pass in habitual unaware actions, so that nothing seems remarkable or stands out.

Yet, we think we must do something brilliant and extraordinary to fulfill our life and make it seem we have lived. This is not true because in the mundane we can find the extraordinary. If we could open ourselves up to change our ritualistic daily habits to include something even slightly different such as taking a different route to work, reading a new author, listening to music we never used to like to see if our tastes have changed, trying a different food, speaking in a different way to our children or stop speaking and listening, doing the chore at the bottom of the list first, sitting in a different chair at the table for dinner.... so many opportunities to do one extraordinary thing each day so that when we look back we can remember and not let life be blurred into days and years passed unaware.

Yes, I need to take my own advice. It feels even more important to do so now that I'm older and ritualistic routine with life's obligations of family life, work, etc, are always present. It's not easy because we are tired. Sometimes we are tired because we are bored. It takes a conscious choice to spice up life. I want to try. I don't want to feel life passing by. It's incorrect to say "life is passing us by in front of our eyes" because we don't even have them open.

How our choices are made

It occurred to me this morning that even being conscious itself can create duality. Consciousness as defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary has the following associations:

1a : the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself
b : the state or fact of being conscious of an external object, state, or fact
c : [awareness]; especially : concern for some social or political cause (e.g. The organization aims to raise the political consciousness of teenagers.)
2: the state of being characterized by sensation, emotion, volition, and thought : [mind]
3: the totality of conscious states of an individual
4: the normal state of conscious life regained consciousness
5: the upper level of mental life of which the person is aware as contrasted with unconscious processes

What do we do with this consciousness we aspire to? We can through more expanded and varied perceptions understand better how our choices can affect not only us, but those we are in contact with, as well as even those we are not physically in contact with. The web of life that is woven to and around us is intricate and far reaching. A result of consciousness is to truly "know" this.

However, we still must make choices. Just about every moment of the day we make a choice. Breathing is an unconscious choice most people make, just as eating, walking and sleeping. Our choices during one day are numerous, but how many do we actively engage in "consciously" until this act of engaging consciously is ingrained within us.. a pattern that we align with?

We make our choices according to our levels of consciousness and realisation of the workings of ourself and the life we are connected to. How we view these choices, even when aligned with the "pattern" can be a contradiction. One person may think he is acting in a "conscious way" but he has only made a choice to act based on his level of consciousness and how he decides to interact and to weave or manipulate the web to which he is attached. We all do. Choice cannot be escaped.

Yet, one person's view of having done the "right" thing can be interpreted by another with just as heightened states of consciousness as “wrong." Thus, even with consciousness we can be in duality.

Only "attaining consciousness/awareness" does not solve duality and all our problems. It’s what we then do with this expanded view of our world and how we work together within our tapestry of life with those threads to whom we are connected, that makes the differences. Consciousness alone does not. It’s how we use the knowledge obtained from it that makes the shifts, be it right or wrong, according to perception. It is what drives our actions.

We need to be careful of the emotions that encircle our state of consciousness. Sometimes the more conscious we are, the more it is difficult to be compassionate because we can see through the acts and tricks and the disguises and the excuses. It’s easy to become desensitised to our emotions because of this. It’s key that we make every effort to retain our compassion or if we never had it, learn it.

Compassion and consciousness are what can complement each other and eliminate some of the aspects of duality from the equation, strengthening the web of humanity. For me, one without the other is not enough. I learned this the hard way because I became desensitised and I lost my compassion for a while. It took being conscious of this fact and working on myself, to bring the two back into better sync. It's not perfect, but this is my truth and my choices.

Are you doing black magic with your words?

Good Grief! Half A Century Has Passed! (or hindsight doesn't have to be best)

Christmas - A Time of New Hope

As I walked the streets of Paris on Christmas Day 16 years ago, heading to the vet where my diabetic cat was struggling to survive, I saw the emotions of mankind around me.  I didn’t understand at that time, that what I saw was reflecting back to me my own life, be it the past, the present or what could be the future.

I saw sadness. I saw loneliness. I saw people with no sense of where they were going wandering around.  I saw the old slowly walking, abandoned by family that didn’t want them or who had passed away.  I remember thinking of the drunks that slept on the gravestones at the edge of the park in Nassau (Bahamas) where people used to play soccer and field hockey.  I remembered how I felt as a child seeing them there.  Even then, I had felt a sense of hopelessness and loneliness.

I continue now to remember how I worried for my mother being alone at Christmas, especially after my sister died.  I didn’t want her to be alone in that house, alone with all the memories of a life that didn’t turn out the way she had thought and dreamed it would.  It was the same when my sister first died.  I took my mother back to Belgium to live with me for 3 months so she wouldn’t be alone with the memories of my dead sister and an empty house.  I tried to save her, but I could not. I merely helped to place a temporary bandage on the pain by turning her attention elsewhere. And in doing so, I also did the same to my own grief.

This time of the year for those who celebrate Christmas is never an easy time.  Even amongst the joy and laughter, memories sneak in of those who have passed.  It is often the hardest time for those left behind, filled with memories both good and bad that come rushing back. 

Christmas is a time of Oneness, of coming together with friends and family.  However we are brought together, be it by religious gatherings or social gatherings, we are coming together in a type of Oneness.  But not everyone feels part of this Oneness.  Pain, loss, grief, loneliness and anger bring us into separateness, as we are pulled into the source of these emotions unaware.

This Christmas, if you are one of these people, please try to stay aware of the your emotions, of what could be causing them.  Acknowledge them, feel them and don’t chastise yourself because you feel guilty that you need to keep up appearances for the sake of others.  You drain yourself by being inauthentic, and you only put off what will come up again later.  Those who love and respect you will try in their way to understand. 

I feel pain coming now as I write these words.  I still feel loss coming up that I didn’t know was there.  The messages that have been coming along with it the last few days I cannot ignore.  The release date of the first Star Wars movie that came up in conversation last night.  It was May 25, 1977.  So many signs in this date alone.  The number 77 is a recurring number for me.  The Tzolkin Kin for this date is 222, also a recurring number in the past month or so for me.  And, lastly, the day – May 25 – is the day that my mother and sister died on, six years apart.  It is the day of my Tzolkin kin in 2016.  The name of the Star Wars movie?  A New Hope!

This Christmas, I start many new adventures in my life.  I am taking over the keys today of a space on Haji Lane, a place very centrally located in Singapore.  This space will be the Sacred Space for my work and the place where I will offer for sale, beautiful products of the many Mystical Beings with whom I work.

It is a time of New Hope for me.  It is a time of starting to look forward to the coming of the Elder in me.  It has also been a time to say goodbye to a good friend of mine who has left Singapore.  It is a time of change, challenges, energy shifts and fulfillment of dreams, with new ones on the horizon.

I wish you all be filled with HOPE this Christmas, whether you celebrate it or not.  No matter what you are going through, try to hold hope that things will get better.  Hold hope alive in yourself.  Hold hope that the Creator loves and supports you.

Hold hope for all of the rest of the world.

Pure Intent

I have been thinking about Pure Intent today because of some things going on with holistic practitioner friends.  I've been asking myself if I am acting with Pure Intent.  And, out of that arose the question of what exactly is Pure Intent? 

Does it mean we act without any thought for ourselves and what can be gained in any way?  Does it mean we are totally free of Ego?  Do we do things because we think it is the will of the Creator of All Life working through us?  

I read the following Sufi thoughts on this which I found interesting:

"Just how pure are our intentions. How can we know? The believer understands purity of action to mean an act that is free of any selfish motive and is undertaken purely seeking the good pleasure of our Creator. This sounds easy but in reality, it can be difficult and tricky. For example, someone could be giving a talk on Pure Intention and think that they are sincerely imparting useful knowledge when in reality they are seeking public recognition and praise. In such a case, the person would be judged to have no sincerity to GOD and no reward. This is because they are unknowingly making partners with GOD in that they are seeking the pleasure of Creation above the pleasure of the Creator."

This article then goes on to say, "Surely, we have to look behind the intentions to see what state our heart is in. However, how can we know our own heart? Sometimes we cannot connect with our true nature because of the veil of the self and the whirlwind of whims and desires that seems to constantly ‘blow’ around our soul. Sometimes this causes so much confusion that we cannot discriminate truth from falsehood to the extent that we accept falsehood as truth and vice versa." 
- from

What do I think?

Pure Intent, I believe, is something that we, who are "working" Spiritual Holistic Practitioners have to be deal with all the time, if we are honest with ourselves.  Realistically, most of us are not Saints or have attained Enlightenment status, so putting the Ego completely aside is not possible. Most of us are also not Monks, having food and gifts given to us from the people to sustain us, and a free place to live.  

We, who do this as a business, also need to think about the fact that we must make money from what we do (and love) to pay the bills and to feed our loved ones.  Don't be naive and think this cannot be a business because Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Louise Hay, Judy Satori and all the people whose books you love to read - it's business.  Money is one form of energy exchange as is the trading of goods and services.  

I am distinctly aware of this and the conflict is has within me and many others like me.  Is knowing this and being cognisent of it in our every day dealings mean that we are able to act with Pure Intent?  Pure intent for me is also honesty about why I am doing what I am doing, and why I love to do it. 

Someone told me once that when you pray, make sure you are honest about that for which you are praying.  Make sure that if you are asking for something for someone else, but you know in the end it will benefit you also, then say so in your prayers to the Holy One.  Don't try to hide it.  It is what it is, and we are all playing this role of humanity.  

Let us as holistic practitioner be completely honest about why we do what we do. And this extends out to all walks of life, all actions, all jobs.   For me, this is trying to live with integrity through awareness of our actions - this for me is Pure Intent.

Is it for you?

Perfectionism, the Ego & the Inner Child

I'm going through some struggles at the moment with my nine year old son related to his school homework.  Leaving aside what the expectations are of his teacher, my son doesn't do his work in the way in which I think it should be done.  After a particularly irritating exchange of words with him regarding what was completed yesterday, I was so upset, I had to take myself away from him to prevent myself saying something I would regret.  

I am not proud of this.  After some soul searching later, I realised that I expect of my son what I believe I would have done when I was a child. I had to seriously ask myself, "Would I really have done it so perfectly? Or would I have done something similar to what he did?"

I raise my hand, I admit it. I expect perfection out of everyone - myself first and foremost.  I am well aware this is in part due to how I was treated as a child with the "perfection" expected from me by my parents. At least it seems so still to my Inner Child.  

I now see, however, that perfection is one big ego trip. I expect perfection out of people, but it is perfection according to what I perceive is perfect. My ego assumes that I know what is perfect. This is the folly of it all because what I perceive to be the perfect way to do things, in no way means that it is indeed the perfect way. It is only in my mind (my own bruised ego) that I envision it to be so because of my own set of standards governed by my experiences, culture, education, upbringing and the plethora of other things in my life that has made me who I am.

Ideas of perfection vary from one person to another, across cultures, age groups, sexes, etc. Our idea of perfection changes as we change.  It's not a fixed perception. Have I become less or more of a perfectionist as time has passed?  Having a child seems to have upped the anti and I feel I have become more of a perfectionist that I was before.  It's as if my Inner Child kicked in with its bruised feelings and now wants revenge on everyone for what she endured. "I didn't get treated kindly for what I tried to do, so let's make sure that little boy gets the same!"

Quite a shocking insight for me to know how much healing is needed for my Inner Child. This follows on to other understandings I came to a few days ago about the humiliation I felt as a child at the hands of my mother and teachers - adults who I thought I was safe with and could trust.  Frankly, my Inner Child is still pretty pissed off, resentful, upset and afraid to step out of the safety of her shadow. 

I'm working on that though with trying to break the cycle through how I deal with my own child.

My son's idea of perfection is still very simple.  He tried to do the task, and even if he didn't do it properly, he at least did something.  I know this will not always be enough as he gets older and school and life become filled with more challenges. But for now, I need to pay attention to the fact that he needs praise for what he tries to do and to not humiliate him in any way, making him feel imperfect.  

I must try somehow to reach through to my own hurting Inner Child.  When she came out once a few weeks ago unbidden in an NSA (Network Spinal Analysis) session, she shifted the energy in my spine and body in a positive way and tension was released. All she did was take my hand. And then, she retreated. Perhaps she feels there is a possibility she could be safe and loved again?

I am certain that healing my Inner Child will improve my relationship with my son... and hopefully many other thing will fall into place as well.

Month of Miracles - Day 2: Sound, Breath, Voice & the Artist...

I was tuned in today to the miracle of sound, breath/wind (air) and hearing.  There was beautiful singing from a nearby school this morning.  Without the breeze, the lovely notes would not have floated my way. Without the sense of hearing, I could not have appreciated them.

Breath, sound, voice - all are miracles of vibration. As I write this, I know the internet is transcribing my words into another type of vibration to be felt through the eyes.  There is a further miracle in the alphabet (English for me) and all the symbols that can be represented when the letters are combined, giving information that can be globally recognised, yet interpreted differently according to experience and culture.  

How will you interpret what you read here? Is it the way I want it to be?  Yet, another miracle is how we, as individuals, perceive the thoughts, actions and words of another. No two perceptions are exactly the same, even though they may be similar. Even our own perception of a word may change over time.

Out of this perception comes our individual creativity. Many of us think we are not artists, but we are indeed. Every day is a palette on which we create our life, based on our perceptions.  Our perceptions are the medium - oil paint, ink, watercolours, charcoal - by which we create life. Our body is the tool - the brush, the pen, the crayon, fingers - we use to create the masterpiece.

As we create our life, do we flow like brushes or do we sketch things out roughly and fill them in later?  Or do we erase them and start over, believing them imperfect? Do we smudge over parts we don't like in an attempt to fix them or cover them with a fresh coat of completely different coloured paint to hide them?

Can we see ourself as the artist of our life, knowing that the inspiration is the energy of Source flowing within us?  What happens when we are cut off from that Source? What happens when our relationship with Source is forgotten or like that of a child who feels he will be punished if he does something wrong according to the perceptions of others? What happens to the palette, the paints and the brushes then?

From hearing those magical notes this morning, my thoughts have wandered to this topic of our relationship with whatever it is we call God, Source, the Infinite.  I ask myself if a child's growth is very expansive and exuberant if he or she is in fear of punishment all the time.  For me, the answer is no. This was my own experience growing up in a Catholic environment, one mostly of fear of reprisal by God if I didn't do what the Bible and the Church said. 

I feel we are inspired to grow when we know we are loved, safe, cherished and appreciated - even amidst what seems like chaos in our life.  We grow confident, kind, trusting in unity with Life when we feel embraced in the arms of the Artist of us All and in the parents or guardians whose life we are entrusted as children. Our voices are then strong and carried by the wind to be heard by those receptive to our song.

If you wish to take part in our global Month of Miracles event, then click through to this event link on Facebook for more details and to join in this wonderful self-healing journey.

Month of Miracles - Day 1 - Breaking Teeth

I was meant to be the start of a decadent French dinner at a favourite restaurant with my husband. We had been served bread while delighting over the menu selection.  I was definitely going for the foie gras (which I love) and was heading toward the lamb (just about the only red meat I eat apart from foie gras), after putting aside the lobster option that I always choose.  

Slipping a nicely buttered soft morsel of bread in my mouth, I chewed, savouring the taste.  Then it happened.  I was disgusted.  I felt a chunk of something in my mouth.  No way!!! What was in the bread?  YUK!!

I spat it out to see what monstrosity the chef had cooked in the bread, only to find what looked like part of a tooth.  The cold realisation of this being my tooth suddenly hit me as I felt my teeth with my tongue to discover a gaping spot on my right back inside lower molar.  

Panic set in as I anticipated immediate pain from exposed nerves.  Disappointment followed... now my dinner plans were ruined and any thoughts of indulging in decadence for the evening were being quickly swept away.

I sat expecting the worst, having never in my life chipped or broken a tooth.  My husband, on the other hand is a pro at this, having at least twice since I've known him, broken a tooth eating... yes... bread!  He insisted that the filling in my tooth was no doubt protecting my nerves and that all should be ok and we could find an emergency dentist on Sunday.  After some hesitation, I began to agree with him.  Even though I felt like I had a gaping hole in my tooth because of the sensitivity of my tongue, in fact, all was well.

However, to be on the safe side, I changed my order from lamb (possibly stringy fibres getting caught near the broken tooth) to my lobster favourite which was softer.  I tested the cold water for further sensitivity, but there was nothing.  Yay!  So we ordered our wine and enjoyed our meal, our cheese plate (no more bread though, thanks!), dessert and expresso.  I was so happy there was no pain, but I admit, I did most of my chewing on the left side of the mouth, just in case.  

THE MIRACLE  is that despite the inside entire quarter of my molar breaking off, there was, and still is, no pain.  My mother had very bad teeth with cracks and that were almost translucent greying enamel. One of my recurring disturbing dreams is about my teeth being shaky and falling out.  I do dream work so I am aware of the ways to interpret this and no doubt need to investigate the symbolism of a broken tooth with no pain further.  Ironically, just before it happened, I had been lamenting to my husband that I needed to stop eating so much bread (wheat) because I didn't think it was very good for my digestion (or weight).  

The bottom line is that this expectation of the worst never materialised. What could that signify (other than a very clear sign to stop eating so much bread), I wonder?

The other realisation that came out of this, was the miracle of the tongue. It is truly a sensitive part of the body, giving us the pleasure of tasting so many different flavours. It can tell us about illness in the body (see diagram). When there is something amiss in our mouth, such as an ulcer or cracked tooth, the tongue acts like a magnifying glass for us to know something is not right in the mouth by making it feel much bigger than it is.  And we definitely need our tongue for speaking.

In the end, I didn't have to rush to an emergency dentist on Sunday.  Later today I see my normal dentist.. and that may be more uncomfortable that the tooth cracking!

Officially this miracle happened October 31, but, as parts of the world was already into November 1st, I am counting this as a November miracle.  LOL!

If you wish to take part in our global Month of Miracles event, then click through to this event link on Facebook for more details and to join in this wonderful self-healing journey.

The Blame Game

I keep randomly turning to the part in the Prophet about Crime & Punishment.  Each time I read it, I understand more clearly what is being said.  The human race is very good at assigning blame to others, and not seeing it as part of what all of us have created, whether knowingly or unknowingly.  This is definitely seen now with the forests burning in Indonesia.  What Kahlil Gibran also writes below is the same premise that the Ho'oponopono Healing practice is based on.  That we are all culpable in some way for the acts of another.  This is a hard pill to swallow, that we are responsible for the actions of the "despicable..."

On Crime and Punishment - Kahlil Gibran
It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind,
That you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself.
And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed.

Like the ocean is your god-self;
It remains for ever undefiled.
And like the ether it lifts but the winged. Even like the sun is your god-self;
It knows not the ways of the mole nor seeks it the holes of the serpent.
But your god-self dwells not alone in your being.
Much in you is still man, and much in you is not yet man,
But a shapeless pigmy that walks asleep in the mist searching for its own awakening.
And of the man in you would I now speak.
For it is he and not your god-self nor the pigmy in the mist, that knows crime and the punishment of crime.

Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.
But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you,
So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also.
And as a single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree,
So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all.
Like a procession you walk together towards your god-self.
You are the way and the wayfarers.
And when one of you falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone.
Ay, and he falls for those ahead of him, who though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling stone.

And this also, though the word lie heavy upon your hearts:
The murdered is not unaccountable for his own murder,
And the robbed is not blameless in being robbed.
The righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked,
And the white-handed is not clean in the doings of the felon.
Yea, the guilty is oftentimes the victim of the injured,
And still more often the condemned is the burden bearer for the guiltless and unblamed.
You cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked;
For they stand together before the face of the sun even as the black thread and the white are woven together.
And when the black thread breaks, the weaver shall look into the whole cloth, and he shall examine the loom also.

If any of you would bring to judgment the unfaithful wife,
Let him also weigh the heart of her husband in scales, and measure his soul with measurements.
And let him who would lash the offender look unto the spirit of the offended.
And if any of you would punish in the name of righteousness and lay the ax unto the evil tree, let him see to its roots;
And verily he will find the roots of the good and the bad, the fruitful and the fruitless, all entwined together in the silent heart of the earth.
And you judges who would be just, 
What judgment pronounce you upon him who though honest in the flesh yet is a thief in spirit?
What penalty lay you upon him who slays in the flesh yet is himself slain in the spirit?
And how prosecute you him who in action is a deceiver and an oppressor,
Yet who also is aggrieved and outraged?

And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?
Is not remorse the justice which is administered by that very law which you would fain serve?
Yet you cannot lay remorse upon the innocent nor lift it from the heart of the guilty.
Unbidden shall it call in the night, that men may wake and gaze upon themselves.
And you who would understand justice, how shall you unless you look upon all deeds in the fullness of light?
Only then shall you know that the erect and the fallen are but one man standing in twilight between the night of his pigmy-self and the day of his god-self,
And that the corner-stone of the temple is not higher than the lowest stone in its foundation.