Be impeccable with your words. This is one of the Four Agreements stated by don Miguel Ruiz in his excellent book based on Toltec wisdom, entitled “The Four Agreements” that I recommend you read, if you haven't already. Our words and actions create energy. Our words, however, if not used wisely, can be considered a form of black magic. Why? Because with our words we can manipulate people, sometimes without even knowing we are doing it.
Words hold so much power. Words said in anger to a child can leave an indelible mark upon that child on into his or her adulthood. The worst part, is that the adult, doesn’t understand that those few words spoken in anger by a frustrated tired parent, were not really his or her fault. But they can become the trigger to a self-view that is damaging due to not understanding the true source and reason for this self-debasement.
Words evoke ideas, images and thoughts in our minds. This is why understanding how we use our words can help us understand ourselves, and others. A client who repeats to me that he is “energetically unbalanced” has not come to that conclusion on his own usually. It has been said to him by someone, perhaps another practitioner. For an individual who is not strong-willed, confident and trusts in himself, and perhaps whose life has been challenging, these words can do so much damage. Now this man sees himself as unbalanced, with many problems, unable to function properly and needing help. He has, in fact, become disempowered. This is a subtle form of black magic.
As someone to whom people come to for help with their life, I try to be very careful with the words I choose. I know that some people will hang on every word I say (including those I use in this article). Other people may seem to take what I say lightly, but the seeds have been planted in their mind and unconsciously the idea conveyed by the words I spoke, will take hold. That is, unless, a person is very aware and constantly watching his or her own actions.
- Think about the words that seem to repeat a lot in your head or life and write them down.
- Set some time aside to sit quietly and think about these words (one at a time) and observe how they make you feel - good, bad, indifferent, other.
- Now try to remember who said these words to you. What was the situation? Who else was around? How did you react then? Start with the most recent if you can.
- Work your way backwards in your life and remember another time, then the next time, until you can no longer remember any more situations.
- Now look to see if there is a pattern.
- Do you see anything new about those situations you may not have realised before? What do you understand now looking through the eyes of an observer about what was said? Do you see anything different now about the circumstances or the person who said them or yourself? Does it change your perspective on them and consequently yourself?
This process can be used to find the source of not only your pain but your happiness, and everything in between. Knowing the source of your joy can also be a blessing, just as understanding the source of your pain can be healing. Try it and let me know how it goes. It’s something I do all the time in my daily life.