Thought for today - experience something

Life passes all too quickly - for me it seems it flies as I get older. Already the year is two months old. When we find ourself questioning where the time has gone, it often means we let it pass in habitual unaware actions, so that nothing seems remarkable or stands out.

Yet, we think we must do something brilliant and extraordinary to fulfill our life and make it seem we have lived. This is not true because in the mundane we can find the extraordinary. If we could open ourselves up to change our ritualistic daily habits to include something even slightly different such as taking a different route to work, reading a new author, listening to music we never used to like to see if our tastes have changed, trying a different food, speaking in a different way to our children or stop speaking and listening, doing the chore at the bottom of the list first, sitting in a different chair at the table for dinner.... so many opportunities to do one extraordinary thing each day so that when we look back we can remember and not let life be blurred into days and years passed unaware.

Yes, I need to take my own advice. It feels even more important to do so now that I'm older and ritualistic routine with life's obligations of family life, work, etc, are always present. It's not easy because we are tired. Sometimes we are tired because we are bored. It takes a conscious choice to spice up life. I want to try. I don't want to feel life passing by. It's incorrect to say "life is passing us by in front of our eyes" because we don't even have them open.

How our choices are made

It occurred to me this morning that even being conscious itself can create duality. Consciousness as defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary has the following associations:

1a : the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself
b : the state or fact of being conscious of an external object, state, or fact
c : [awareness]; especially : concern for some social or political cause (e.g. The organization aims to raise the political consciousness of teenagers.)
2: the state of being characterized by sensation, emotion, volition, and thought : [mind]
3: the totality of conscious states of an individual
4: the normal state of conscious life regained consciousness
5: the upper level of mental life of which the person is aware as contrasted with unconscious processes

What do we do with this consciousness we aspire to? We can through more expanded and varied perceptions understand better how our choices can affect not only us, but those we are in contact with, as well as even those we are not physically in contact with. The web of life that is woven to and around us is intricate and far reaching. A result of consciousness is to truly "know" this.

However, we still must make choices. Just about every moment of the day we make a choice. Breathing is an unconscious choice most people make, just as eating, walking and sleeping. Our choices during one day are numerous, but how many do we actively engage in "consciously" until this act of engaging consciously is ingrained within us.. a pattern that we align with?

We make our choices according to our levels of consciousness and realisation of the workings of ourself and the life we are connected to. How we view these choices, even when aligned with the "pattern" can be a contradiction. One person may think he is acting in a "conscious way" but he has only made a choice to act based on his level of consciousness and how he decides to interact and to weave or manipulate the web to which he is attached. We all do. Choice cannot be escaped.

Yet, one person's view of having done the "right" thing can be interpreted by another with just as heightened states of consciousness as “wrong." Thus, even with consciousness we can be in duality.

Only "attaining consciousness/awareness" does not solve duality and all our problems. It’s what we then do with this expanded view of our world and how we work together within our tapestry of life with those threads to whom we are connected, that makes the differences. Consciousness alone does not. It’s how we use the knowledge obtained from it that makes the shifts, be it right or wrong, according to perception. It is what drives our actions.

We need to be careful of the emotions that encircle our state of consciousness. Sometimes the more conscious we are, the more it is difficult to be compassionate because we can see through the acts and tricks and the disguises and the excuses. It’s easy to become desensitised to our emotions because of this. It’s key that we make every effort to retain our compassion or if we never had it, learn it.

Compassion and consciousness are what can complement each other and eliminate some of the aspects of duality from the equation, strengthening the web of humanity. For me, one without the other is not enough. I learned this the hard way because I became desensitised and I lost my compassion for a while. It took being conscious of this fact and working on myself, to bring the two back into better sync. It's not perfect, but this is my truth and my choices.

Do you really know your parents? Never Assume...

Healing Through Writing - Results from August Class

Some of my own feelings coming through as I asked the class to write about something we cannot really know - TIME.  Another writing exercise was using words generated by everyone in response to a word I gave randomly.  We then had to write something using as many of the words that had been generated.  Very interesting to see the themes coming out as a group. A lot around aging and coming to terms with being a Divine Being at our core, and balancing it with the human form we are currently in.


Anxiety lighting everything up.
To be able to move with the stars
And look down at the minutes flowing,
The lives those minutes control.

To watch my life
And see the loopholes
I could make through events
If no time constraints.

My age seems just a number
But I feel so old,
So old..
What does time travel do to the soul?
The constant looping through.
Do the stars remain the same
Each life I travel through?

What is constant?
Absolutely nothing.
Why keep photos
Except to burden the soul
With the prisoners of time?


Word Generation

The waters in my heart
Bring the night owl's call
Under the dying moon
Close to me.

Into the cave of my fears and sorrow,
I stand like an enemy,
Challenging the impressions
That number uncountable.

The child from that time,
Beckons from her boat at sea
For me to immerse myself
In the music of life
And play in the sand.

It could be fun,
Something remembers.

Are you doing black magic with your words?

Do You Want to Feel "Spiritually" Special?


Inner Eyes


Good Grief! Half A Century Has Passed! (or hindsight doesn't have to be best)

Yes, you do really love yourself!

Christmas - A Time of New Hope

As I walked the streets of Paris on Christmas Day 16 years ago, heading to the vet where my diabetic cat was struggling to survive, I saw the emotions of mankind around me.  I didn’t understand at that time, that what I saw was reflecting back to me my own life, be it the past, the present or what could be the future.

I saw sadness. I saw loneliness. I saw people with no sense of where they were going wandering around.  I saw the old slowly walking, abandoned by family that didn’t want them or who had passed away.  I remember thinking of the drunks that slept on the gravestones at the edge of the park in Nassau (Bahamas) where people used to play soccer and field hockey.  I remembered how I felt as a child seeing them there.  Even then, I had felt a sense of hopelessness and loneliness.

I continue now to remember how I worried for my mother being alone at Christmas, especially after my sister died.  I didn’t want her to be alone in that house, alone with all the memories of a life that didn’t turn out the way she had thought and dreamed it would.  It was the same when my sister first died.  I took my mother back to Belgium to live with me for 3 months so she wouldn’t be alone with the memories of my dead sister and an empty house.  I tried to save her, but I could not. I merely helped to place a temporary bandage on the pain by turning her attention elsewhere. And in doing so, I also did the same to my own grief.

This time of the year for those who celebrate Christmas is never an easy time.  Even amongst the joy and laughter, memories sneak in of those who have passed.  It is often the hardest time for those left behind, filled with memories both good and bad that come rushing back. 

Christmas is a time of Oneness, of coming together with friends and family.  However we are brought together, be it by religious gatherings or social gatherings, we are coming together in a type of Oneness.  But not everyone feels part of this Oneness.  Pain, loss, grief, loneliness and anger bring us into separateness, as we are pulled into the source of these emotions unaware.

This Christmas, if you are one of these people, please try to stay aware of the your emotions, of what could be causing them.  Acknowledge them, feel them and don’t chastise yourself because you feel guilty that you need to keep up appearances for the sake of others.  You drain yourself by being inauthentic, and you only put off what will come up again later.  Those who love and respect you will try in their way to understand. 

I feel pain coming now as I write these words.  I still feel loss coming up that I didn’t know was there.  The messages that have been coming along with it the last few days I cannot ignore.  The release date of the first Star Wars movie that came up in conversation last night.  It was May 25, 1977.  So many signs in this date alone.  The number 77 is a recurring number for me.  The Tzolkin Kin for this date is 222, also a recurring number in the past month or so for me.  And, lastly, the day – May 25 – is the day that my mother and sister died on, six years apart.  It is the day of my Tzolkin kin in 2016.  The name of the Star Wars movie?  A New Hope!

This Christmas, I start many new adventures in my life.  I am taking over the keys today of a space on Haji Lane, a place very centrally located in Singapore.  This space will be the Sacred Space for my work and the place where I will offer for sale, beautiful products of the many Mystical Beings with whom I work.

It is a time of New Hope for me.  It is a time of starting to look forward to the coming of the Elder in me.  It has also been a time to say goodbye to a good friend of mine who has left Singapore.  It is a time of change, challenges, energy shifts and fulfillment of dreams, with new ones on the horizon.

I wish you all be filled with HOPE this Christmas, whether you celebrate it or not.  No matter what you are going through, try to hold hope that things will get better.  Hold hope alive in yourself.  Hold hope that the Creator loves and supports you.

Hold hope for all of the rest of the world.